To Arrive Here

Image of foliage against an orange sepia-toned background

All spring, I fed myself double doses
of the prescription, half-doses of
antihistamines. Cut my fingernails into
short squares like I saw on the hands
of my sister’s newborn child.

Ate oranges, washed my hair. Squatted
in corners and screamed until my own
pulp ran salty from my nose. I drove,
successfully. Borrowed library books,
turned the pages of magazines,
admired those clean, square nails.

I pulled my heaving body from the
shower, laid it down on the memory
foam rug. Lit a rose candle. Smoked two
cigarettes. Drank one dim puddle of gin.
Upped the dosage, once, twice, vodka chaser.
Nearly slipped while running, coiled inside myself
on the couch but enjoyed a program
about the Green Bank telescope.

When June came with its wobbling
knees and adolescent posture,
I was here to notice.

I shaved my armpits, wore Chanel tennis shoes,
lipstick like the soft rot of a peach.
Bought new earrings in the
department store, where two teenage girls
ogled my breasts, eyes sour on my feet,
on my well-slept skin. Want rimmed
their mouths like the pelvic pulse before a kiss.

I needed to tell them: these are only accessories.
I have a still-functioning hand, I walked
through the front doors, stepped onto the escalator
to arrive here. I will walk back out, make it home.
I’ll eat dinner. And in the morning,
I’ll have the memory of your faces.

Situs sbobet resmi terpercaya. Daftar situs slot online gacor resmi terbaik. Agen situs judi bola resmi terpercaya. Situs idn poker online resmi. Agen situs idn poker online resmi terpercaya. Situs idn poker terpercaya.

situs idn poker terbesar di Indonesia.

List website idn poker terbaik.

Permainan judi slot online terbaik

daftar slot online